Wander Susan Wonder

My friends have been having kids for several years now. It used to bother me that most of my friends were a couple life stages ahead of me, but I’m more ok with that now (most days at least). I’ve always really liked kids… maybe it’s because I act like a kid most of the time anyways. When people I knew first started having kids, it was great. They were learning new things and I was holding cute kids. Nothing has changed in that aspect….my friends’ kids are still amazing, and cute, but my feelings towards them have changed over the past few years. Basically….these kids are making me soft.

I guess the first time I noticed this was around last year. Before I continue…..please know that I’ve always loved my friends’ kids and would do anything for them. I’m gonna highlight a couple specific kids to illustrate my point….but know….I absolutely love them all. Ok, so I’m privileged to hang out with a certain 3 kids just about all the time. My friend Leslie, just like all my other friends, has amazing kids and last year was her daughter, Sofia’s, 2nd birthday. It was a typical birthday with balloons and cupcakes and the chaos of small children being in the same room. There was one noticeable difference though. Every time Sofia would open a present she would say, “Susan!! Susan, look what I got!” And just like that, I was trying not to openly weep in public. That 2 year old had family and friends around….but she wanted me to see every present she got.

The examples of this have only gotten more frequent. The other day, Leslie told me that Judah, her oldest had his first loose tooth….and my first reaction was to cry and say, “No, it’s not time for that yet.” I was honored that a few days later he FaceTimed me to show that it had fallen out and the tooth fairy was on her way.

It happens with kids I don’t get to hang out with as much too. My friend Crissy has a daughter that is literally her mini me. I’ve known Crissy my whole life…and seeing that kid makes me so freaking happy. What is happening to me?? All I want to do is hug that kid because she is a little Crissy.

When my college roommate, Mindy, texted me a few months ago….somehow I knew before she even told me that she was pregnant. When pics of sonograms and sound bites of heartbeats followed, my eyes were welling up with tears once again. My heart literally ached the day my mom had to attend Mindy and Lindsay’s baby showers without me. I’m so excited for the new faces I get to meet this fall!!

The more I am around kids, the more I am amazed by the people who raise them. I get to spoil them and give them back when they cry. I can’t imagine shaping a human for the rest of their life. For the longest time, the only mom I ever really knew well was mine (who sets the bar impossibly high). Really observing my friends as moms has been incredible, probably because I understand just how blessed their kids are to have them. I know I’m making light of my newly discovered softness, but I’m really thankful to have all these kiddos around me. I’m thankful I get to experience the joy kids bring… and goodness how do you moms deal with these emotions all day as they grow up too fast?? Geez! I’m thankful that I have been blessed with friends beyond what I deserve. I hope this weekend you all feel extra special and know that I am amazed by how you keep little humans alive. I love all the moms in my life. Don’t worry Eleyse….you’re still on top. Happy Mother’s Day!